Exploring Ancestry
Since writing my February newsletter, I started a nine-week death doula training course: Village Death Care with Anne-Marie Keppel. My writing lately has evolved out of what I’m learning and exploring; it’s quite the journey! I’ve just completed the Week Three assignment: Exploring Ancestry and this was quite an emotional roller-coaster.
I had great resistance to doing this exercise, having done a lot of excavation during the 1990s, when I was actively healing from childhood abuse. While a comfort-seeking part of me preferred to leave that particular exploration in the past, I finally decided, after three days of rebellious refusal, to sign up for a trial run of Ancestry.ca. Surprisingly, I found quite a lot of information about my mother’s side of the family. There were some useful entries for my father’s side as well.
Mycelial Networks Over Family Trees
Using Ancestry made this exercise much easier, and I printed out my research findings in a fan array, rather than as a tree. I decided to use map representations for where my grandparents originated, and I included a map for where I was born, along with a graphic of a mushroom fruiting body with its mycelial network attached.
Here are some relevant excerpts from my weekly summary, a course requirement:
I come from a Mycelial Network, not a Family Tree, since all sentient beings have been my mother and father at one time. I come from decomposition and strands of DNA, originating in northern Italy (Piedmont) – paternal grandparents – and Brittany in France – maternal grandparents. My fruiting body, born of Michael and Valentine, arrived in a small town in northern Alberta.
My family system and the surrounding community were challenging for children, especially for females: patriarchal, Catholic, misogynistic, laced with violence and abuse. I didn’t feel much sense of safety among humans, so the nearby forests and lakes were my sanctuary. I became a keen observer of the natural world around me, and what a gift that was.
Strengths: The fact that I’m here to write this summary speaks to the physical strength and strong will to live that runs through the lineage. Both my parents valued education and encouraged all eight of their children to attend university, without discriminating against the boys and girls. My mother had a deep appreciation for beauty and knowledge for the abundance from the land. She loved taking us out to harvest berries, fishing on lakes and streams, and hunting for grouse on remote side roads – some of my fondest memories.
I live very differently from values with which I was raised. Doing this exercise brought up very strong feelings of aversion, for the unacknowledged abuses, for the assumption of power by the males around me, for the ways that my interests and passions were seldom acknowledged. I cannot pretend that I came from a happy loving family, and for that reason, I am not in contact with any of my remaining siblings. My sister Annette was my last meaningful connection with my biological family. Perhaps being present to my strong feelings of aversion can support a deeper healing process, over time.
Growing Compassion for My Ancestors
Without forcing anything, I’ve discovered I’m beginning to feel glimmers of compassion for the suffering of all members of “my” mycelium network, and I suspect that all beings are moving toward healing in one form or another. My compassion is prompted by reading the posts by other members in the death doula training, where I am beginning to realize how universal our experiences are.
There are so many ways that doing ancestry investigation can serve you and your writing, helping you to understand relationship patterns, interruptions in relationship, and reasons for migration. What you discover about your lineage can inform character development, motivations, or perhaps lead to some 100-word stories about what you’re discovering.
Writing Prompts for Ancestry Exploration
Sometimes it helps to use writing prompts to get started, based on what you already know. One of my most inspiring prompts in this regard is a poem by George Ella Lyton, “Where I am From”. Here’s an excerpt for you to begin:
… I am from fudge and eyeglasses,
from Imogene and Alafair.
I’m from the know-it-alls
and the pass-it-ons,
from perk up and pipe down.
I’m from …
As you do your investigation, I invite you to travel lightly, making sure you have someone you can connect with to share your findings. Perhaps you’ll feel inspired to share a short piece in our private Facebook Writing Oasis.
marie
If something in this newsletter inspired you, send me a note at marie@mariemaccagno.com.
If you liked this post from Adventures in Writing, I invite you to share it.
The Writing Feedback Guidebook
How to Ask For & Receive Helpful, Supportive Feedback on Your Writing
Not all writing reviewers are created equal! When you hand your carefully crafted pages to someone to provide feedback, the result is often unhelpful & at worst, can be crushing. This FREE guide will help you choose insightful, supportive readers. It will also teach you how to ask for what you need and want from them to continue honing your writing with confidence.