“I Could Never Do That”…. Solo Retreat and Unplugged from Distractions
When I was 19 years old, I joined a 26-day Outward Bound group women’s course held in southern British Columbia. Part of the program included a three-day solo experience during which we left the group and experienced the outdoors on our own. This filled me with dread as soon as I saw it on the schedule. The best I could do while on my solo time was endure the experience. I did my best to sleep away those 72 hours and I didn’t come away with any profound insights. There were no aha moments; just relief that it was over. My 19-year-old self didn’t know how to be at peace with herself and she was profoundly grateful to return to the group.
I’ve come a long way since then.
Now, at 70+ years of age, I’m ensconced in a 3-month meditation retreat, with a focus on silence, no outside distractions, and individualized practice. So, for anyone who hears about my retreat, and responds with, “I could never do that!” – I invite you to pause and think again. Perhaps you couldn’t, today. But I couldn’t have either, without the years of practice and wonderful teachers helping to create my foundation. Signing up for three months of silent individual practice is not typically how anyone enters Buddhism. Think of it like building up your meditation muscle, the way you might if you started training in a gym, with a fitness trainer. [I want to emphasize that the teacher you choose is an important factor in any practitioner’s progress.]
Building Up to a Dedicated Practice
Here’s my best suggestion for how it’s possible to work up to a dedicated practice, perhaps leading to longer times in retreat. If you have any interest or curiosity, find a teacher in your area offering some shorter meditation opportunities. One of my local teachers offers evening dharma talks that include group meditation times. If meditation supports you in your life, then build on the foundation you’re creating.
Attend a day-long or weekend retreat. Develop a home practice, spending 10 or 15 minutes a day in stillness. Gradually, the changes occur in outlook, in responses to stress, in kindness to self and others. Almost without realizing it, your entire system is adapting to your commitment.
To the people who say to me, “I could never do that!”, I disagree. I believe you could, since I was once someone who couldn’t stand to be alone and in silence for any length of time. It takes work to slow down, to settle, to begin observing the world with all my senses, with no distractions. Now I look forward to a prolonged time in a state of deep awareness, combined with dedicated practice and study, with the support of my Buddhist community and my teacher. His guidance has supported me to arrive at this threshold.
Parallels Between Meditation and Writing
As I’ve been writing these words, I’m struck by the parallels to creating a writing life. In summary:
- Let your curiosity guide you and be prepared to be surprised
- Find a teacher that supports your interests and abilities, and ideally, a community of writers
- Start small – look for evening or day-long writing events to begin your exploration
- Build a home practice, writing for 10 – 15 minutes per day
- Come together in longer retreats with your writing community
I have structured my business on these principles. When I emerge from retreat, I will be hosting a Four Foundations of Strong Writing series in February 2025. You will learn the basis of a writing practice that supports writers across all genres and levels of experience, plus have the opportunity to experience all the principles in a Discover Your Writing Voice class.
I look forward to connecting with you when I return from retreat. May all be well!
marie
If something in this newsletter inspired you, send me a note at marie@mariemaccagno.com.
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